Comments on: Why you need to be likable at work — but not nice http://cuberules.com/2010/01/15/why-you-need-to-be-likable-at-work-but-not-nice/ Career Advice for Cubicle Warriors Tue, 07 Feb 2012 08:37:54 +0000 hourly 1 By: Scot Herrick http://cuberules.com/2010/01/15/why-you-need-to-be-likable-at-work-but-not-nice/comment-page-1/#comment-6865 Scot Herrick Sat, 17 Sep 2011 03:19:00 +0000 http://cuberules.com/?p=3949#comment-6865 It is a very controversial post -- most people want to be nice and not just likable. This presents a tough choice for people and forces them to look hard at the reality of the workplace. No easy answers here. It is a very controversial post — most people want to be nice and not just likable. This presents a tough choice for people and forces them to look hard at the reality of the workplace. No easy answers here.

]]> By: Domain Registration Debit Card http://cuberules.com/2010/01/15/why-you-need-to-be-likable-at-work-but-not-nice/comment-page-1/#comment-6845 Domain Registration Debit Card Fri, 02 Sep 2011 10:55:00 +0000 http://cuberules.com/?p=3949#comment-6845 Thanks a lot for sharing this useful and attractive information and I will be waiting for other interesting posts from you in the nearest future.keep it up. Thanks a lot for sharing this useful and attractive information and I will be waiting for other interesting posts from you in the nearest future.keep it up.

]]> By: Scot Herrick http://cuberules.com/2010/01/15/why-you-need-to-be-likable-at-work-but-not-nice/comment-page-1/#comment-6740 Scot Herrick Tue, 26 Apr 2011 03:24:00 +0000 http://cuberules.com/?p=3949#comment-6740 But what you just described -- nice and assertive -- is how I defined likeable. So we actually agree. The basic premise here is that you need to be likeable enough -- but assertive enough to also protect your interests. You and I could probably come up with many examples of people who are nasty -- there are far too many of them in the workplace. But by letting those people run over us by simply being nice and tolerant puts all the stress on you. That's not where we should be in the workplace. That's why I went with likeable. One needs likeability while asserting themselves at work without being the very nasty people you mention. It's a close, but interesting contrast, isn't it? But what you just described — nice and assertive — is how I defined likeable. So we actually agree. The basic premise here is that you need to be likeable enough — but assertive enough to also protect your interests.

You and I could probably come up with many examples of people who are nasty — there are far too many of them in the workplace. But by letting those people run over us by simply being nice and tolerant puts all the stress on you. That’s not where we should be in the workplace.

That’s why I went with likeable. One needs likeability while asserting themselves at work without being the very nasty people you mention.

It’s a close, but interesting contrast, isn’t it?

]]> By: Nice Person http://cuberules.com/2010/01/15/why-you-need-to-be-likable-at-work-but-not-nice/comment-page-1/#comment-6739 Nice Person Sat, 23 Apr 2011 02:21:00 +0000 http://cuberules.com/?p=3949#comment-6739 I disagree as well, you can be nice and be assertive. It's always the nasty people who get on in the workplace though as that kind of behaviour is rewarded more. Terrible article... I disagree as well, you can be nice and be assertive. It’s always the nasty people who get on in the workplace though as that kind of behaviour is rewarded more. Terrible article…

]]> By: Likeable isn’t nice « luckyredbatbites http://cuberules.com/2010/01/15/why-you-need-to-be-likable-at-work-but-not-nice/comment-page-1/#comment-5269 Likeable isn’t nice « luckyredbatbites Thu, 21 Jan 2010 16:27:55 +0000 http://cuberules.com/?p=3949#comment-5269 [...] thought it might be desirable before. However, Scot Herrick makes an interesting distinction in this article: nice is when you are good-natured and kind, but, he suggests, open to exploitation; likeable is [...] [...] thought it might be desirable before. However, Scot Herrick makes an interesting distinction in this article: nice is when you are good-natured and kind, but, he suggests, open to exploitation; likeable is [...]

]]> By: Angela Chen Shui http://cuberules.com/2010/01/15/why-you-need-to-be-likable-at-work-but-not-nice/comment-page-1/#comment-5261 Angela Chen Shui Sat, 16 Jan 2010 15:59:44 +0000 http://cuberules.com/?p=3949#comment-5261 Word definitions are so interestingly close! ;-) Never-the-less, whether the definitions are yours or Roger's, the distinction is important and necessary.<br><br>Going with yours, being nice is often the easy way out of not Being fully who we are... of letting go enough of our power so that we end up waking up each morning wonderfing why life feels empty. It's also interesting how this nice/likable distinction plays out in every other relationship sphere, including love, family, friendship.<br><br>If we looked at nice/likable from the gender, male/female perspectives, the debate would get even more heated! ;-) <br><br>Thanks for your post. btw, visiting from Guy Kawasaki's tweet and blog referencing this post... Word definitions are so interestingly close! ;-) Never-the-less, whether the definitions are yours or Roger's, the distinction is important and necessary.

Going with yours, being nice is often the easy way out of not Being fully who we are… of letting go enough of our power so that we end up waking up each morning wonderfing why life feels empty. It's also interesting how this nice/likable distinction plays out in every other relationship sphere, including love, family, friendship.

If we looked at nice/likable from the gender, male/female perspectives, the debate would get even more heated! ;-)

Thanks for your post. btw, visiting from Guy Kawasaki's tweet and blog referencing this post…

]]> By: Ahmad Majid http://cuberules.com/2010/01/15/why-you-need-to-be-likable-at-work-but-not-nice/comment-page-1/#comment-5260 Ahmad Majid Sat, 16 Jan 2010 14:44:02 +0000 http://cuberules.com/?p=3949#comment-5260 This is great.<br>Thanks :) This is great.
Thanks :)

]]> By: Jamie Favreau http://cuberules.com/2010/01/15/why-you-need-to-be-likable-at-work-but-not-nice/comment-page-1/#comment-5259 Jamie Favreau Sat, 16 Jan 2010 14:24:09 +0000 http://cuberules.com/?p=3949#comment-5259 I agree you should be likable. Everyone has boundaries and they should be respected. You can be "nice" but you need to know what your limit is. I agree you should be likable. Everyone has boundaries and they should be respected. You can be “nice” but you need to know what your limit is.

]]> By: Roger http://cuberules.com/2010/01/15/why-you-need-to-be-likable-at-work-but-not-nice/comment-page-1/#comment-5258 Roger Sat, 16 Jan 2010 07:48:15 +0000 http://cuberules.com/?p=3949#comment-5258 I understand the point you're making and I agree there is a difference between the two. However, I define the two in the manner completely opposite of yours. Likable requires that I get your approval in terms of how I conduct and handle myself. I want you to like me. Therefore, I need to do those things that emotionally appeal to you. Confronting you about an issue may not be a likable trait.<br><br>I view nice as I can stand up for myself in a pleasant manner. Yet, I'm not concerned whether you like me. I think of the biblical proverb that says, "Speak the truth, but in love". Essentially, it means to be honest. However, I should be nice about how I deliver the message. I see being nice more in common with that principle than being "likable". If I want to be likable, I may not speak those things which may be uncomfortable for you to hear.<br><br>This has become a discussion more of semantics. Nevertheless, I get the point of your article and I agree in an reverse kind-of-way. I understand the point you're making and I agree there is a difference between the two. However, I define the two in the manner completely opposite of yours. Likable requires that I get your approval in terms of how I conduct and handle myself. I want you to like me. Therefore, I need to do those things that emotionally appeal to you. Confronting you about an issue may not be a likable trait.

I view nice as I can stand up for myself in a pleasant manner. Yet, I'm not concerned whether you like me. I think of the biblical proverb that says, “Speak the truth, but in love”. Essentially, it means to be honest. However, I should be nice about how I deliver the message. I see being nice more in common with that principle than being “likable”. If I want to be likable, I may not speak those things which may be uncomfortable for you to hear.

This has become a discussion more of semantics. Nevertheless, I get the point of your article and I agree in an reverse kind-of-way.

]]> By: Lyon http://cuberules.com/2010/01/15/why-you-need-to-be-likable-at-work-but-not-nice/comment-page-1/#comment-5257 Lyon Sat, 16 Jan 2010 02:34:42 +0000 http://cuberules.com/?p=3949#comment-5257 You can't be too nice. That does not help get things done. That was a comment from my previous manager who was the GM of a business unit. You can't be too nice. That does not help get things done. That was a comment from my previous manager who was the GM of a business unit.

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